Dear Old and Trusty Baby Wise book,
Today is the day that I have decided to throw you away. You have been a good friend, and, up to this point, a marvelous instruction manual on babies. Sorry old pal, but I am trusting my instincts this time around. Please don't be offended when I drop-kick your dog-eared self out the door. I am sorry, but you are no longer meeting my needs.
When Mary Alice was little, it was to you I turned to help me know how to feed her and get her to sleep through the night. Back then, I used to rely on you to show me how to watch the clock. Oh how I remember the days of carefully eyeing those minute hands, waiting, anticipating the next two and a half hour time period to elapse! I remember the notebook I used to keep lying beside you, filled with the tender sentiments of a fanatical mother. The notebook was filled with things like "Fed- 6:48-7:20" "Slept from 8:09-9:25" "Pooped 9/18/01") Ahhh memories... Alas, those days are long gone.
Like an old faithful friend, I picked you up and dusted you off again at the birth of Major. I frantically consulted your familiar pages for my every move. (How long am I supposed to keep you up before I put you down for a nap again? What is this feed-wake-sleep cycle thing? What about the 45 minute intruder?) I looked to you to help me decide my every move, confident that you would help me to get it right once again. You never disappointed.
I must confess that the stress of parenting three little ones and following your guidance has simply gotten to be more than I can bear. When I had only one, or even two little ones, reading up on your latest suggestions was easy. I had only to follow the instructions within your pages to achieve my baby care taking goals. Every problem had an answer that you so willingly provided. Now, however, with three children, I've found that scheduling my life with such devotion is no longer an option.
You see, the two and a half hour thing interferes with my other's children's activities. And, now that I am a mother of three, my brain no longer functions optimally. This makes reading your pages, much less, making sense of their contents virtually impossible. I can't seem to find a pencil around my house that isn't broken. All of my notebooks now are full of little scribbles of the artwork of children. And, to put it quite honestly, the whole scheduling thing just stresses me out! I am not the mother I used to be. I am a changed woman. I will have to just go with my gut this time around. There may be less sleep and too much feeding. I guess we will just "wing it" the best we can.
I will always be grateful to you for your help in the beginning. I will look back and remember those good old days with fondness. I am moving on now. I am over you.
Sincerely,
Happy Mommy of Three
7 comments:
Amen!
AMEN was EXACTLY what i was thinking before i saw miranda's post! seriously, the day i gave up babywise strictness - i felt sooo much better...i needed it in the beginning but then with twins-forget it...you just gotta go with your gut! LOVE YOU AMBER!!!!!!!
I think an AMEN is in order for this one too! I was just telling Kevin tonight that Scott is such a good baby (not that Sam & Seth weren't good!) but we think it is just because WE are so much more laid back with how we handle him! We are too busy to worry about the clock thing, sleep thing, etc. -- we are just feeding him when he seems hungry and letting him sleep when he falls asleep (a lot of that is on the go in his carseat!). I already anticipate our pediatrician at his 2 month appt this Friday asking me all the questions about what kind of schedule he is on (I brought a spiral to Sam's 2 mo appt!) and me throwing up my hands and saying..."no idea!"
Great Post!!
I couldn't agree more!!! When you have three the schedule goes out the window. I also love it when books say to nap when the baby sleeps. Yeah right! Like I am going to leave my four year old and two year old in charge while I snooze away. You just have to take it day by day...sometimes minute by minute :)
Miss You!!!!!!
-Brook
I love your post!! I think that is the approach I am taking with our new addition...
I have had 3 people recommend that book to me. I have winged it with 3, and they suggested the scheduling with #4. We decided against it, and we're still winging it. I thought this was a very clever post! Happy Summer to you! It proves very interesting taking 2 non swimmers, 1 swimmer, and a nursing baby to the pool.
I absolutely agree. I haven't been following babywise with this 3rd little guy and he seems to be doing just fine. As a matter of fact, he had already gained almost one pound at his two week checkup.
My first two never slept through the night until 6 months anyway, so I say Babywise Shmaybewise. I I would recomend the Itzbeen timer though, so your frazzled brain can remember the details of the last feeding, sleeping.
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