Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Frances' Hope

I just got back from going to visit the nursing home with the kids. Our church gets young children together each week to do some kind of a service project. The past few weeks we have visited the nursing home. I wish I had some pictures to go with my stories of today, but I had my hands so full with Milla that I couldn't do much of anything else.

Of course, both this week and last, Milla was a hit! Last week, many of the residents said how cute they thought "he" was, so this week, I dressed her up in her girliest outfit and bow so that there would be no confusion about her gender. :) I think I did something right, because everyone commented on what a cute girl she was! Lots of remarks were heard echoing through the dining hall such as "What cute hamhocks!" "What a butterball!" and "Isn't she a chunkers?" Milla's bare little feet and legs were touched, held, and kissed by some of the old ladies as they reminisced about their own children. Some of the residents gave her tissue paper flowers and some asked me to make her "dance" for them. (She likes to jump all over the place right now, so she brought smiles to their faces as she jumped again and again on the dining table.) She also growled, squealed and handed out smiles freely.

My heart aches for so many of the people who reside in nursing homes. These people were once just like me. They had jobs, children, vital and active lives. Now, however, many of these people are living out their final days in a place without their friends or family around them, while the world continues to go on outside the locked and alarmed doors. I know that many of these people have loving family members who made the difficult decision to put their loved ones in these homes out of necessity. Many of these people are blessed to have family members who visit them daily. This is good. However, there are many lonely people whom no person visits on a regular basis. These people are aching to be talked to, loved, and touched. It breaks my heart to think of this. I can hardly stand it. I believe that this is what the church is called to do, to show love to these people and to learn from them.

I want to share some things that I noticed while at the nursing home. When I first walked in I saw an elderly lady, "Frances", sitting alone on a sofa in the lobby area. Frances immediately noticed Milla. Her face lit up! She asked me if she could see my baby. I went and sat next to her and discovered that she was sharp! She had a wonderful story to tell me. I listened intently as she told me about her life. She had lost a husband in a car crash when she was exactly my age, leaving her with four young children. She remarried a man who proved to, in her words, have been "a good man with too many problems to stay married". This second husband walked out on his marriage, leaving her with SEVEN young children. One of the children died at age two of diphtheria. Finally, she met and married a wonderful Marine. This man helped her to raise her six children. She was married to him for twenty years until the time of his death. She said that she had been in the nursing home for a couple of months and was trying hard to adjust to her new life there. She had the most positive outlook and talked about how she was prepared to die, but didn't want to spend her last days lying around, watching tv, and lying in a bed somewhere. She gets up each morning, puts on her makeup, fixes her hair, gets dressed beautifully, and plans her day. Frances told me that during her life she has learned that whenever something bad happens, God always sends something good to follow.

There was something in her pleasant, cheerful demeanor that reminded me alot of my mom's mother. She seemed to face life with a smile, taking life's hardships with hope for the future. Her own daughter was, at that moment, dying of cancer. She asked me to pray for her daughter. She said that she can face uncertain days because she has hope for the future. Where did she get this hope? As I turned to leave, I noticed a Bible sitting on the sofa beside her. Of course! Frances was a Christian! It was obvious, but confirmed by the presence of the Bible sitting beside her.

Frances was amazing, and, I thought, truly beautiful! I enjoyed being around her. I really enjoyed our visit and told her that I would try to come visit her in a few weeks. She was such an encouragement to me. So much can be learned from older, wiser Christians. Sweet Frances had much advice to offer, let me tell you! I visited with her for about half an hour.

I turned to walk into the dining room where our church group was gathered. The kids were making Hawaiian leis and tissue paper flowers for the residents. As I walked, I met a grumpy looking woman in a wheelchair who gave me a stern look and uttered these words... "Time...time...Nobody has the time...but time keeps on going on and on...horrible, just horrible!" She frowned at me. She had frown lines on her forehead. She wheeled around unhappily in her wheelchair. I looked at her and smiled. She didn't return the smile. She seemed unhappy with her day or maybe even her life. She looked to be about the age of Frances, but more sickly. She probably wasn't in ill health as much as the grumpiness took the beauty right out of her. I don't know about her life at all, but I do know that she seemed to be bitter and angry, so unlike sweet Frances, who, despite life's trials, had such a hope for the future.

Lots of things have been on my heart lately. I have never followed the goings-on in Hollywood. There are very few famous people that I've ever considered to be role models. Even though I didn't know him personally, or look up to him in any way, I was very saddened and disturbed by Michael Jackson's death. Seriously. Things like this traumatize me. I told Josh that I didn't know why I was grieving so much for Michael Jackson. He said that he didn't think I was grieving, but that I just felt extremely sorry for him. Josh knows me well.

I feel such a sense of sadness for troubled people who live without hope for the future and then die, utterly miserable. There are so many people in this world who live their lives only for themselves, searching, searching for something to make them happy only to discover that they are never truly happy in the end. They don't have hope. They don't have joy. They are miserable...and then their time runs out.

On Sunday our preacher quoted Shia Labeouf in an interview that he did with Parade magazine. About actors Shia said, They’re all in pain. It’s a profession of bottom-feeders and heartbroken people,” “Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy,” he added. “I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew how, I’d fill it and I’d be on my way. WHAT?!? He identified it. He doesn't know how to fill it. So sad.

I may not be able to make much of a difference in the lives of all the stars in Hollywood. Many are such sad cases. I can pray for those people whom I come in contact with and try to show them that there is a better way to live life, and it is a free gift, that is the life devoted to Jesus. I am so thankful that I have this hope that does not disappoint. I want, so badly, for as many people as possible to have this hope that I have. It seems such a waste to live only for this world!

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I'm sure this post has been a real downer. Maybe it has even been a little boring to you. Regardless, this has been on my mind and I felt the need to encourage you to live your life the way that God intends for you to live, for Him and for others and, like Frances, with joy and hope for the future!

4 comments:

Lori said...

Amber,

Your post was beautiful. I read it with tears in my eyes, but not sad ones. Frances' story is so encouraging.

I had the thought this week as well that I pray the 4 entertainers who passed away this last week didn't gain the whole world just to lose their soul. I hope they had deeper meaning in their life than how they used one talent.

Miranda said...

This was so not a "downer." It is such a wonderful reminder of what we need to be doing as Christians. Love you!

Kim said...

Thanks for sharing this--it was not boring or down, but encouraging! Our hope is in God and He does not disappoint! Frances sounds like a lovely woman!

I become disturbed by those hurting in our world, also. Most of the things on the news makes no sense to me and although I know God has a plan through all of it, it is disturbing that so many suffer without hope through this life.

Barkley Bunch said...

Frances seems like quite a woman! I've visited several nursing homes before but never with the kids. I've recently told a friend that I would go to visit her in the nursing home but have come up with what I thought were good reasons for not visiting her yet. Thank you for the reminder that life is precious and what we can learn from people like Frances is priceless and not to mention the joy we might bring to some of those living in the nursing home just by a simple visit.