This Number Has Been Disconnected

One of the biggest sources of my frustrations lately has been our phone. For some reason, our current phone number was once the phone number of many other people. I am growing weary of dropping what I am doing around the house or with the kids, sprinting up the stairs and diving to get the phone before the answering machine picks up only to discover that someone has called the wrong number.

We have been on the receiving end of many bill collectors who are trying to reach "Jessica" regarding "an important business matter". Jessica's business matters must be extremely important. This might explain why they call my house 2 to 3 times per day (and night) without relenting. I tell them that "Jessica" no longer has this phone number.

There is also "Lisa" who also used to possess our phone number. Lisa friends must not be too close or they would realize that her phone number has changed within the past year.

Perhaps most annoying are the calls to a person who bears my husband's name and has outstanding student loans from the same student loan provider we used. Josh has called the loan provider at least twice and explained the situation, while I have calmly explained that they have the wrong person many many times.

There is also the "physician's provider network" that calls me several times a week. I think it is a fax because I always hear beeps when I answer their phone calls.

I don't waste any time with salesmen who call our house. If I hear a pause when I answer the phone, even for a second, I hang up. I am sorry for those folks who have to be employed as phone salesmen. There is no product that ANYONE can sell me over the phone, though, so I guess I'm being courteous of their time by hanging up before they can even utter a word. This has backfired on me once. I kept hanging up on our bank. Oops.

Yesterday someone left a message on my cell phone. It was a woman, calling for "Mike". She seemed very worried and desperately asked him to please return her call. She was absolutely convinced that "Mike" was ignoring her. She seemed sad and concerned. The message was very personal. Just why would someone leave a message like that on a phone whose greeting is a woman speaking and clearly states that "you have reached Amber", not "Mike", but "Amber". I just don't understand these people. Josh thought I should call her back and let her know that she had the wrong person. I don't know if calling her back would help. Seriously.

Lastly, my cell phone has received several calls for "Juan". I said, "You have the wrong number." One girl actually argued with me saying, "No, this is Juan's number. I've called it before." What do you say to that???

I went outside to our front porch to get the new phonebooks that were delivered a couple of days ago. Guess what? They had been stolen. Who steals phone books anyway?? Perhaps this was a sign? I think these missing phone books are further proof that my life would be better without a phone.

Josh and I have discussed turning off my phones during the day. We think that would be a good idea. So friends, if you call my phone and I don't answer, it is because I am trying to keep my frustration at bay. If I do happen to answer, don't pause, even for a moment, or I will hang up. Don't ask for Jessica, Lisa, Juan, Mike, the other Joshua, or make a beeping sound either! I'm warning you!!

There are lots of things that bother me lately, like the super loud neighbors we have around here. Booming music, partying at night, and motorcycles and cars that make roaring sounds are our lot around here. This is life in the ghetto.

I guess I should be glad that this is all I have to worry about. I know that I shouldn't be annoyed so easily. I'm trying not to be. Turning off my phones is the first step. Don't be surprised if I am hard to reach.

ADDENDUM: After reading this post, Josh commented that I sounded very bitter. He also said that our friends are going to stop calling us and that I'm going to have to post a blog in a few months to apologize. Though I am irritated by the constant pestering done by solicitors, bill collectors, and confused people, this post does not mean that I don't love to hear from our wonderful family and friends. We like to hear from them anytime, just as long as they don't ask to speak to "Jessica"!