I think I need to see a therapist. It has recently been brought to my attention that I am afraid of everything. Many of these fears are irrational. I don't know if this is something that I inherited from my mother, whose paranoia ranges from travelling (anywhere) to being around strange people, or just something that is uniquely mine. I don't want to pass these fears on to my daughter, who I am starting to see is becoming, like me, a regular fraidy cat. So, in an effort to rid myself of some of these fears, I am making a list of some of them. I can't afford a psychologist, so maybe acknowledging these fears is the first step..
I am afraid of:
1) being hit by a train, while driving over train tracks.
2) being hit by a car as I cross the street.
3) snakes in tall grass
4) roaches, rats, and other pesky critters
5) flying overseas- the plane crashing in the ocean
6) my husband rear ending the car in front of us on the highway b/c he follows too closely
7) the eighteen wheelers that I pass on the highway: Specifically: a tire coming off and it swerving into my lane
8) the elevator door shutting on my kids' arm and hurting them
9) the elevator cable breaking
10) leaving my kids under the care of another person, something happening to them
11) not having any money at the checkout counter
12) talking to people I have nothing in common with
13) falling down the stairs
14) cutting myself when I am chopping vegetables
15) having a visible pantyline, or visible panties out of the top of my low rise jeans--- That is a real problem with today's styles!!!
16)wearing a colored bra under a light colored sweater
17) losing my vision
18) getting a fat potbelly and not realizing it
19) looking like a homeschool mom
20) letting my whole life go by and realizing all of the things that I wanted to do, but didn't and now can't do (for whatever reason)
21) not ever bringing anyone to Christ in my lifetime... in other words, wasting my life
22) not being a good enough wife
23) not being a good enough mother
24) not being disciplined
25) being at home alone overnight
26) someone breaking in and being unable to protect my kids
27) dogs (almost all of them) I was bitten by a dog at age three and have never cared for them since!
28) cats (They are nasty little beasts!)
29) Josh working with heavy tools. (I'm always afraid he is going to cut his arm off or hurt himself badly somehow.)
30) making the wrong decision
31) making someone mad (although there are a select few that I don't care if I make mad)
32) wells
33) my kids falling off of playground equipment
34) preventable accidents, that I failed to prevent
35) going bankrupt
36) Major losing his hearing
37) making my kids paranoid because I am that way
38) missing a God given opportunity to share Him with others, because I am afraid
39) our computer crashing and losing all of our kids' pictures
40) going senile and saying curse words at people (That is NOT who I am and I don't ever want to scare little kids by ever being that way. If I am senile, I want to be pleasant. Somehow, I don't see myself as being that way with no inhibitions, though...)
41) food poisoning (I am very vigilant about food safety.)
42) a gas leak (There is a funny smell in our garage right now... Could it be due to a gas leak? Josh said natural gas doesn't have a smell, but I'm still worried...)
43) someone calling on me in a classroom setting, saying "What do you think about...?" ( I hate that!!!!! NEVER do that to someone if you are teaching! If people want to comment, they will.)
44) getting skin cancer from a blister and freckle causing burn I got in junior high (Jessica Birchfield and I were having a competition over who could get the best tan. We both lost. We have the sunspots/freckles to prove it.)
45) having a party in which I have to sell something to my friends Don't even ask me. I will never throw a party for any sales-type event. I will gladly come, though, if invited.
46) any extreme sport
47) having a stalker ( I dated one for four years, so you'd think I would've overcome this one.)
48) snakes in lakes
49) being seen doing something gross
50) people thinking that my kids look like ragamuffins
51) any food that has a gross name: "puppy chow", "barf dip", etc.
52) Fear itself
As you can see, I have many fears. Now I fear that you will think me to be a nut when you read this list. Yet another fear....
Friday, November 18, 2005
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6 comments:
Okay, this really made me laugh! I have so many of the same fears! But on # 18(the fat potbelly one) really hit home! We went to a party and took lots of pictures. When I got them developed I noticed one of my grandfather holding Braden and there were two women in the background talking, but the heads were cut off, so I took the picture to my mom to find out who this chunky girl was. I didn't remember her being at the party! Boy, was I in for a surprise when my mom asked me to look at her clothes! It was me! Fat has a way of sneaking up on you! Thank God Post Baby Fat goes away relatively quickly!
What has that little town done to you? I can just picture you now...pot-bellied, sitting on the couch eating "puppy chow", wearing a black bra that shows through your shirt, granny panties hanging out the back of you pants, homeshooling all of those "ragamuffins" (I don't even know what that means!),maybe even becoming one of those senile old ladies with about 25 cats in her house.
Ok, a few of those (a very small few) are rational fears. The rest I could never even imagine! Lighten up and have some fun, girl!:) (even if your panties show a little)
My list would be very similar and at least that long:)
Amber!!! you are totally allowed to have some of those fears-but you are an awesome mom, wife, and friend! you are creative, calming, dedicated so much fun to be around! if you start feeling like a homeschool mom-let's just go shopping!
by the way, Tammy's office is great and i would love to help with any ideas for Josh's office!! i went shopping with paula and janis today and had a great time! she caught me up on everything going on with y'all and we all miss y'all too!!! hang in there and keep up the great work with the kids-they are such good ones!
Amber, I also suffer from many irrational fears. One of my recurring fears is that I have left the stove or oven on or have left my straightening iron on and am going to burn down the house. I have been known to get up in the middle of the night to check on the stove/oven. Also, I am afraid to leave the dryer running when I am not home as I am convinced that this, too, can burn down my house! Don't feel bad, I am sure we all have crazy fears!
Amber- this totally cracked me up! Who knew you had such a list? I don't think you need to worry about the potbelly or people seeing you do something gross. I always fear that I'm catching some horrid disease from the communal shopping carts at Wal-mart.
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